Headache....

I can hardly look at this picture without getting a little teary eyed. I experienced the most horrifying night of my life last night. I took the 3 kids swimming, i know i am out numbered but Nicholas is a great swimmer and Isaac is getting there. Anyway, the boys got in the pool, i was getting undressed and putting sunscreen on Sydney when i look over and see that Isasac is completely under. I had Sydney unbuckled except for the top buckle and she was up high on a table. I immediately jump in to save Isaac, pull him up and make sure he is OK. He was fine once he quit coughing. I was just grateful he was coughing up the water. I hear Nicholas yell, "SYDNEY, SYDNEY." I look over and she had finagled her way out of the top buckle and was standing up about to fall smack on the concrete....it was a pretty far distance. I swam faster than i thought possible yelling my baby, my baby. I missed her by seconds, she fell right in front of my eyes and screamed unbearably. I thought i was going to throw up. Right then Bob showed up, he looked at us and was not sure what was going on except that Sydney's eyes were rolling back and she was pale. We grabbed our belongings and i told Bob to call the pediatricians office and see what to do. They told us to go straight to the ER. Sydney was trying to fall asleep in the car, i kept singing to her and rubbing her face hard not letting her fall asleep on me. Then we called our brother-in law who is a doctor and he said if she is not throwing up and there is no knot on her head there is nothing they will do at the ER. Just watch her carefully. We went home and had a great friend come over to help Bob give her a blessing. She seemed dazed for 30 min and then was back to her normal self. ME on the other hand, could not pull myself together the rest of the night. I was up all night watching Syd and having nightmares of Isaac drowning and Sydney having permanent damage. I felt guilty and horrible. The thing that still gets me is during this Nicholas kept saying mom, give me Sydney right now, right now, right now. She needs me, i can make her feel better. He also kept asking if she was going to die. I just lost it. I love these 3 so much. Nicholas is such a little dad to Sydney. He tells me often that she makes him so happy and he has never loved something so much. Having siblings is UNREAL!